Telling the Truth

I remember the look of resignation on my 3-year old son’s face when he had to admit to some wrong-doing. He didn’t want to tell the truth, but he did. I hardly ever had to question him - just give him a look - and he'd tell me the truth.

So I wasn't prepared when I first caught my daughter in a lie at the age of 3. My husband and I soon learned that she hardly misses a beat when lying. And she will lie about lying. Even when I’ve caught her jaw-full of illicit sweets, she will wheedle, deny, reason and lie about how those sweets came to be in her mouth. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter if my husband and I apply law, gospel or a combination of both – she still shows no remorse. She has her view of the world and any other view is either wrong and/or incomprehensible to her.

I could not understand this trait. I thought there must be some dearth of conscience – something missing inside of her. But my mother told me she still remembers the day it first occurred to her that she was lying. She was seven years old. She realized she was telling her mother something that was not true. She had done it instinctively for years, but she never made the connection before. So maybe it’s only a matter of time before it clicks in my daughter's brain and she realizes - "I am lying!" We can pray, anyway…and keep working on telling the truth.

To tell the truth, she is better – for the most part. When I ask her if she has brushed her teeth, she will still automatically say, “Yes” - whether she has brushed them or not. However, now she will sometimes stop herself and say, “Wait.” Then she’ll look at me and say, “Oh, no. I haven’t brushed my teeth.” But then she’ll ruin it by making up an excuse: “I forgot.” 

What – you forgot to tell the truth or you forgot that you hadn’t brushed your teeth? I suppose the former is pretty accurate. We just have to work on her replacing her excuses with – “Oops! Sorry, Mum.”