We met the new CEO of our company (or in University-speak, the new Dean of our college). He commented that he knew one person in the room from ages ago – when she was 13 and he was a high school teacher. Later, I made what I thought a very pithy comment on this to my boss. My boss laughed and said, “Oh, he was never a high school teacher. He was joking – defusing his comment about knowing Jen ages ago.”
Slightly embarrassed and deflated, I replied, “Oh… I’m a rather literal person.”
“I’ve actually noticed that,” my boss said with a nod. “I definitely have.”
Oh dear. Just how many of his jokes have I missed?
Then, he went on to say that it must be hard to catch all the nuances of humour in a different culture. One of our Mexican colleagues has mentioned that to him.
Oh good – he’s willing to put the best construction on my faux pas and doesn’t think me a complete blathering idiot.
Thinking about what he said, I realized that this is another aspect of being a global nomad that I hadn’t really considered before.
I don’t have established behavioural and communication scenarios as a native to a culture would have – templates to translate and break down situations as they occur. I have to painstakingly construct templates for social interaction – what is going on and how I should react in each situation - as I desperately gather clues from the people around me. Then, over time as new situations turn those templates on their heads, I have to tear out the bits that don’t fit and try to find new pieces to fill the breaches.
In practice, this means that I don’t usually get jokes (not without having someone explain them to me) and I often miss signs and clues that natives automatically pick up.
My solution?
Smile and nod. Smile and nod.
