Friday, 17 February 2012

Something to Remember Him By

Mum went through Dad’s closets last week. What is more difficult - opening your closet every day to see your late husband’s clothes next to yours, or holding each shirt, each link in your hands as you decide how to get rid of it?

She asked me if my son wanted something to remind him of Grandpa. A blanket Dad always used, perhaps. I think my son would appreciate that. What about me? Do I need something of Dad’s?

Do I need something of Dad’s to remember him?

Every time I open my jewelry box, I see a necklace or bracelet he gave me. Some of my favorite earrings are from him. Did he have good taste, or do I enjoy wearing them because they remind me of him?

I open my larder and see crackers. When my sisters and I were going through Dad’s office after his death, we found huge stashes of crackers. Five boxes in this drawer, two in another, four in a closet…He was always hungry at the end, and his diet didn’t satisfy the cancer – he consumed crackers by the box. Some of his stash ended up in my car and now in my larder. Eating sardines on crackers just isn’t the same anymore.

My very son is a reminder. He’s named for Dad; even has the Janosek name to fill in for the son my father never had. Every time my son picks up a basketball or kicks a football, I can see the athletic skill he inherited from Dad. Just as well my boy doesn’t play squash or I might really lose it!

Most of all, I can go to church and feel close to Dad, because every Word from the Bible was precious to him and he sang every hymn with gusto and joy.

So no, I don’t need anything else to remember Dad. I have all I could ever want or need.

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