Where are you from?

The dental hygienist asked me, "Where are you from?" After a habitual moment of panic, I remembered my prepared response: "All over." She laughed and asked if I was in the military. "No. The church." That segued neatly into a discussion of places to live, Oklahoma living, and working for a church. That was so painless! Why didn't I think of that response years ago?

I have spent the last 20 years dreading the question, "Where are you from?" A no-brainer for most people, this question always catches me unprepared. What do I say? Where AM I from? How long should my answer last? Does the other person really want to know, or is she making polite chit-chat?

For the first 10 years I usually answered "Malawi." Nine times out of ten I drew a blank look or a polite nod (until Madonna put Malawi on the map). Either way, I had to explain how a white, American-seeming person can claim a country in the middle of Africa as home. NOTE: this is a really good way to stick out from the crowd. I learned to use this response if I wanted attention, either good or bad.

When I wanted to be like everyone else at University, I’d try other responses. “My grandparents live in Davenport,” was often safe. NOTE: do not say, “I am from Davenport.” Too often, my classmates were actually from there and wanted to know which high school I attended. Oops!

After years of living in the US, I really didn’t know where I was from anymore. However, responding, “I have no idea,” can be a real conversation stopper. On the other hand, if I told them “I was born and raised in Malawi, went to University in Iowa, and have lived off and on in Minnesota for the last 6 years, so take your pick.” that falls outside the norm for polite, introductory small-talk. Most people don’t want my entire life history when they ask where I’m from.

When we moved to Antigua, I was stumped for a response. “Where am I from? Let’s see. Hmmm. Give me a minute…” I must have sounded like an idiot. At the end of four years, I learned to say, “I live here.” Usually, I didn’t have to explain any further. Perfect!

The best answer I’ve heard is, “I’m not!” While very pithy, this response could be considered rude. Moving around as I do, I want to make friends fast, not alienate them. Even if the person isn’t miffed at this response, I rather not try to explain why I find this response hilarious.

So I’ve come up with “All over.” It’s a safe, unassuming and accurate response. Aaah! Now I can relax and not panic at such a simple question, right?